


A Song to Say Goodbye

by MadameTourvel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Drug Addict Sherlock, John Watson´s diary, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV John Watson, POV Sherlock Holmes, Teenlock, Virgin Sherlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 06:45:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameTourvel/pseuds/MadameTourvel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is inexperienced in relationships but has a lot of experience with drug abuse.<br/>John has already experienced love. Being bisexual makes it more difficult but he is willing to give it a try if Sherlock stays clean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Song to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Songfic Challenge of The Baker Street Irregulars, and inspired by this song by Placebo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geig9DCpucI
> 
> UNBETAED AND UNBRITPICKED. Also English is not my first language. Suggestions and corrections are welcome.
> 
> Rated Mature for drug abuse and underage sex.

He is leaving. He is leaving, he won’t talk to me, and I’m desperate.

Is this how love is supposed to feel? I never thought I would pine over someone like some heroine in a tragic novel. But here you have me.

I remember that day in the lab, at the beginning of the school year; I was filling in for a sick lab assistant, and the chemistry teacher was giving the students some instructions. And then I saw him, focused on his lab task, with pink cheeks and lovely lips talking to himself as he worked. A new student. [Mental note: heart racing (check) – Pilomotor reflex (check) – Butterflies in the stomach (check). For God’s sake, this is ridiculous. What the hell is happening to me?]  
-“Can you help me, please?”- he said, and I froze in place. A rush of adrenaline made me get closer and help him with the pipettes; I think I said something to him but I don’t really remember. I was distracted by the slight trembling in my hands, my blushing and some sweating in the palms. Ridiculous! It was ridiculous that I might lose control like... I like him and we haven’t even been introduced.

From that moment on, stalked him obsessively. I wanted to know everything about him. Some things I deduced, some others I asked and some others I imagined in the never ending turmoil of my obsession. His name was John and he was older than me; he had a grant and would spend a semester in our school. It was obvious he couldn’t afford our school: his pretty worn, cheap clothing, his accent, his school uniform (that had the words “second hand” written all over) told me of his family background. A brilliant student, then, or accomplished athlete (probably both; something about him made me think he was in the football team and of course started fantasizing about him in football uniform. Hmmm. And of course I wouldn’t fall for anyone who is not at least brilliant). 

It wasn’t difficult to convince him that I could tutor him. The difficult part was to act cool and feign indifference, try to avoid stuttering or anything that could give me away, especially when he looked at me right in the eyes, or smiled, or said that I was amazing. Sometimes I thought that he would be able to hear my thoughts or the beating of my heart and that would be it.

Spending time with him was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had had crushes on other boys and girls in the past, but nothing to this extent. I couldn’t really perform daily functions, not without my heart beating John-John-John.

Then I discovered he kept a diary. It was my new obsession. I had to get hold of it; it would provide valuable insight on this lovely creature. Did he write about me? Did he like someone at all? How was his life back home? His expectations for the future? (My usual deduction scheme proved sort of useless with him, because he was too wonderful to be compared to the general population, or because my brain didn’t work properly when he was around, or most probably a combination of both factors).

It is not difficult to pick a lock, and in previous visits to his room I studied carefully possible hiding places for a personal diary. Not difficult to enter his room, find the diary and give a quick read. Let’s see. Problems at home. Wants to enter a prestigious university, but he can’t afford it. He has a girlfriend at home, Mary. (When I read that I thought I was dying and that someone was going to find my corpse standing in the middle of the room, with the guilty evidence of the break-in still in my hands). No mention of me whatsoever. Oh... but there was hope... there were some pages in which he discussed his sexuality. Apparently he liked both girls and boys but he hadn’t had a crush on a boy for a long time. There was a picture of Mary between the pages. Uninteresting, boring Mary. I hated her right away.

So it was absolutely necessary that I seduced John. Mary needed to be erased from John’s life. (in a metaphorical sense although I wasn’t averse to the idea of really erasing her from this planet)

The task proved quite difficult. I had kissed a girl, once when I was 12, and a boy at 13, on my summer vacations (the boy was a bit older and made me touch him as well, and at the time I thought it was really disgusting. Now, with John in mind nothing seemed disgusting). My lack of experience was worrying me and of course John, being older and having a girlfriend, would know better than me. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided I would study the most successful specimens in the dating field. So the next time my classmates threw a party I decided to attend...


End file.
